Chaos Corner Right Here

I'm feeling a little bit like chaos wrapped up in a blonde girl's body.
It is now second semester and I am knee deep into my internship for my Social Work practicum. Needless to say, I am loving it. I finally feel like I'm starting to do a small piece of what I love.
Now, saying that, I am also realizing just how much of the future I am so unsure of.

This is where the chaos steps in. My mind is in every spot right now. I'm realizing the short amount of time I have left here at school. Don't get me wrong, I'm feeling ready to graduate, but not so ready to leave the people that I've been able to grow with and learn from here. Along with this, I'm applying for another big step-Young Adults in Global Mission (YAGM) through the ELCA. I am so excited for the prospect of this opportunity as well as nervous. If I do get in, I know it will be incredibly hard to be away for a year. For a long time, I thought about how I didn't want to even get involved with anyone on a romantic level because of the idea of being away for a year or get involved with different community opportunities, but after many conversations with friends and thinking about it, I decided it's stupid to stop my life for something that may never occur. These are the things I think about.

The only thing I really know for sure right now is that I'll be back in the mountains this summer. I cannot describe nearly enough how encouraging and calming this is. Other than that...I have no idea what the future holds. *cue the senior in college freak out session*
I've thought a lot about grad school and have recently realized the amount of people that have suggested seminary. Seriously God? I finally think I'm understanding "The Plan" and You throw another loop in.

So here is where I am. I know this: I want to travel and spend time serving others outside of the U.S., I want to serve people here, and I want to learn more. Plus, on top of that I do want to settle down and have a family one day. Modern woman problems much?
So in all reality...I know nothing. Everything is so up in the air right now and I feel as though life has been throwing SO many options my way.
To me, the beauty within this situation is knowing how much more life may be ahead of me and knowing that I have the opportunity to make the most of everything with each day God grants me of this oh-so-short life. I guess I'll call that my silver lining?

Chaos is the only world that comes to mind when I think of how to describe my thoughts. They're everywhere and anywhere.

I guess, I find peace in knowing that I don't have to have the answers. I don't doubt that God will show the way. I also know that God made me an over-analyzer so I therefore think about these things and often. My goal for now is to remain certain to not make a decision out of fear, stability or the expectations of others. And I'm thinking this is a pretty attainable goal for now. That, and to enjoy my last few months as a college student and looking ahead to exciting things.

This may be all I really can do..